When Web Designers Get Cocky
Web & Design March 6th, 2008
My web consultants are constantly canvasing the websites of our local businesses to discover our next clients for web design. Often times running into HORRID web designs, created by overconfident and under qualified web masters.
It seems like the worse the design, the MORE COCKY the webmaster is.
Recently we had a run in with a prime example of an overconfident web master.
Meet Bradford L. Brown, or as he refers to himself, “The Wizard” - (the electrifying filter effect is ALL him)
His command of all things web is impressive indeed, to quote from the “webmaster page” of the company he works for:
“all of the design and coding of this website began right here, in this chair, so, depending upon your point-of-view, I’m either to blame — or I get the glory. There are times when inspiration fails me, but then lightning usually strikes, and immediately, I know just what to do next. HTML to ya!”
As proof of his mastery of web designing I share with you exhibit A: Wicked RAD Custom Wizard to Rabbit GIF animation:
After looking over the site that he is currently “Web Mastering” ( http://www.robertson-tire.com/index.html ) we contacted him to let him know that we would be interested in helping them with their site, to which he responded “Thanks for your interest in our website. The site works very well for us (we get tremendous traffic now) and costs us practically nothing to maintain. Why would we want to upgrade?”
Well EXCUUUUUUUSE ME!
In hind site, I should have recognized that they were in good shape just by looking at the site, this master piece of web work:
I was a little upset and offended, but then I took a look at his “Web Master Bio Page” and realized I was in fact dealing with a true web professional, a “WIZARD” if you will.
In an attempt to convince him that he needed a little help, we spent some time doing an analysis of his site to identify potential problems and sent him the following email:
***********************
Hey, thanks for the reply - we understand that you guys probably get lots of traffic to your website, but lots of traffic does not mean that we still might not be able to help you improve the site.
Here are some major issues and problems with the website we noticed, which we can help you address:
1. Uses Frames
2. Scrolling Java Scripts
3. Uses Animated Gifs
4. Low resolution photos and graphics
5. Awkward Navigation
6. Outdated Design & Layout
7. Needs Major Algorithm Compliance
8. Harsh Color Scheme
9. Could use some usability and conversion analysis
The site really is in need of a major upgrade not only for better conversion, but to leave a better impression on your customers - right now your website is doing more harm to your business than it is good.
Please let us know if you might be interested in some consulting on how we can help bring the site from the 90’s to 2008.
*******************
We are still waiting on his response . . . .
March 6th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
First off - you don’t mess with “THE WIZARD”. Second off - you don’t mess with “THE WIZARD”.
Seriously you forgot the incredibly unprofessional visitor counter at the bottom of the website. Did you notice that the animated picture of the wizard is a whopping 650kb?
March 6th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
You’re dead on with your comments about that site! Eew. I think that flashing effect is about to set off a bunch of convulsions. Maybe that’s what’s already happened to the webmaster and why he can’t see past his “great design.”
March 8th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
If you view the page in IE, there is an annoying banner thing that follows you’re cursor. It says “Click on a Link!” in big red letters.
March 10th, 2008 at 5:34 am
Also, check out the link in the copyright ellipsis on the top right of the main page. Mice have taken over the world apparently…
March 10th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
I quite like that.
March 10th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
You’ve resulted to cold calling customers? Your website and business tactics speak for themselves.
March 11th, 2008 at 7:28 am
As a web designer my self (no I am NOT a webmaster, I actually have some idea what I am doing and don’t use Front Page) I have found it’s very hard to move people into this decade, when it comes to design. I consult with 2-3 people EVERY DAY, and at least 1/3 of them want Flash Intros, music, animated gifs, hit counters and more. Let’s put some flashing red scrolling text! I have found that it’s always better to say, this is why this is not a good idea, and explain the reason to them. While I think you made some excellent points, you may have offended them, because people who know nothing about web design get very excited. When you tell them what they have is crap, they get very disappointed. While you may have inspired them to look at redesign, they may never choose you. Also, when you see an incredibly crappy site, you have to wonder, what’s the businesses relationship to the “Wizard”? Is he the bosses nephew or brother, or even son? If you still want to review local sites and offer analysis, you might want to soften your approach. No one likes to feel attacked.
March 11th, 2008 at 7:36 am
Well - lets be honest, we may have been trying to provoke the Wizard . . . we don’t usually approach clients by telling them what they have is garbage. And Anonymous - we were not cold calling customers, you don’t even have a clue about this situation.
March 11th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Oh your remarks are soooo true and too funny! Great posting and good job. I must say here…not only am I a web designer - I have been a webmaster (though they used to call me the web mistress) for a major college in the North East…all I can say about this guy’s website is yikes~! It screams AOL 3.0 when you only needed one person to market, do your java (when there was no java) design and write copy for your website - how the world has changed…
I can’t tell my clients enough of - “no music, no flash, no frames” - dude, you are selling your professional business services, not trying to turn tricks!
My wish is to gather all these comments and forward them to him - the so-called webmaster wizard- not to say that he needs a new website - but serious people in the know are making fun of his umm ‘mastering the web techniques used over ten years ago’ - hey does he know it’s 2008 and not 1990 when these techniques could have been considered cool? I bet he cannot even write out a simple href reference to create a link in straight html code let alone how to know his own IP address.. hehehe
you all cracked me up - and I needed a good laugh - thanks for the giggles! Leah from Divaliscious
March 11th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
ohh I did notice his chair is from the 70’s - I guess we should give this guy wizard a-hole credit for at least trying to be in the late 80’s and early 90’s for his web design….hehhe I cannot get enough of his shtuff!
March 12th, 2008 at 9:28 am
http://digg.com/design/The_true_definition_of_Web_Master
I’m sorry, but I had to. I loved your blog so much, I couldn’t help it.
March 12th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
This can’t be real… it’s TOO horrible. Seriously, is it a joke?
March 13th, 2008 at 5:34 am
What I like is the “Why Nitrogen” page. “NASCAR teams use nitrogen…” Captions the picture of an open wheeled Indy car…
I wonder if now Im going to see piss yellow hue around everything for the rest of my life??
Well time to go to a nice dark room to rest my burned retinas.
March 13th, 2008 at 7:49 am
Hahaha check out the guestbook on the Robertson Tire site, the first entry was left by the Wizard himself:
Informative Site - Easy to find stuff.
Brad Brown
Tulsa, OK USA
Pretty cocky to sign the guestbook of a site you designed. Very informative site indeed!
March 13th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Ahhhh! It’s hurting my eyes!
March 17th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
“Dan Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Did you notice that the animated picture of the wizard is a whopping 650kb?”
did you notice it is 6089 bytes as in ~6kb
April 9th, 2008 at 8:29 am
mmmm i beg to differ
1. Uses Frames
2. Scrolling Java Scripts
3. Uses Animated Gifs
6. Outdated Design & Layout
7. Needs Major Algorithm Compliance
these are all hallmarks of good classic web layout. the early days of interent design will also be a harbinger for future designs. we should be preserving and praising these sites, espcially business sites, rather than updating them with stark white backgrounds and aqua-styled rss buttons.
long live the wizard of web!
April 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I’ve done the same thing in the past and it didn’t take me long to realize that those people get offended quickly! They poured their heart and soul into those pages and nothing you can say will change their mind. You may as well tell them that their new born baby looks like a monkey… you’ll get the same results!
Look at this: http://www.5safepoints.com
I wrote to him and said, Your Web site is very difficult to read and navigate. Would you be interested in having it professionally redesigned and maintained?
He replied, Your opinion., and not interested!
So I said, Twelve years as a professional Web designer. And I think my opinion carries quite a bit of weight. Didn’t mean to offend you. If you’re happy with it then that’s fine. I was just trying to offer you something that looked professional.
And he finally said, Yes it may not be the best and most visually appealing, but it is highly optimized for the search engines. I like to call it ugly yet effective!
I just call it ugly.
May 22nd, 2008 at 6:53 am
I agree that it is a pretty cheesy website, but to say that it does more harm than good is incorrect. At least they are hopefully getting a few phonecalls from it and that is better than no web presence whatsoever.